030. I Will Always Want To Be Useful On A Team: Katy Garroway's Fire Service Return [Part 3]

Get ready for the thrilling conclusion of our three-part series with Katy Garroway on Keep the Promise! In this final episode, we cover Katy's return to the fire service as a recruit, bridging the gap between rookie and seasoned firefighter, and discovering the profound connection between physical fitness and mental well-being.

💪 Learn how Katy's snap decisions led her back to the fire service, where she faced the unique challenges of being both a recruit and someone with prior experience.

🚒 Katy's story unfolds as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. We dive into the exhilarating highs and humbling lows of her firefighting training, uncovering the lessons and growth that emerge from walking the fine line between rookie and mentor.

🧘‍♀️ Beyond the firehouse, Katy reveals the transformative power of physical fitness on mental health. She shares how prioritizing wellness can benefit all those who serve their communities.

🔥 This episode encapsulates the essence of Katy's unwavering promise to herself and her community. Her story is a beacon of hope, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of excellence, reminding us that there is no limit to what one can achieve through determination and dedication.

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Transcript

TJ: did they ask you that question in the interview? What

Katy: what do you know about Howard County? Everything.

TJ: I know where you live,

Katy: Right.

TJ: She's like, uh, what?

Katy: Yeah. I, I think at the precipice of it, I didn't again, because I make. Snap judgments. I didn't in my head play out all the steps. I was just like, yeah, I'll just go back to another Academy

TJ: I

Katy: Probably probably um and So when I when I did get I mean I was I was so thing, you know Like I said, I tried to get in here first I live here My kids go to school here, you know, I'm six minutes from my station.

Katy: Like this is my community. I loved the idea of

TJ: oh god, actually.

Katy: serving, oh God, how cliche serving the community that I live in, you know, the people that I see all the time. So I, I, I really thought it was a good opportunity, um, to at the young spry age of 43, go through a seven month Academy and, and get back. Start all over, uh, from the beginning.

Katy: Um, I think that I suppressed because I think if I had let that bubble up, I would have been a little bit more wishy washy. So I'm glad I didn't. I'm very glad I didn't. Um, Yeah, what's

TJ: What

TJ: was going through your mind? 

Katy: What? When?

TJ: when you decided

Katy: Um, 

TJ: go through and, because that's Mark's number three, that we know, of, of any sort of Structured training program that you've gone through in your life. Most people say they would never do a fire academy and you're like Academy number two

TJ: and I was in the Marine Corps, so bring

TJ: it. 

Katy: I was in the rancor. So, right. Um, I think again, I, I fell back on the, I've done it before.

Katy: I know what I'm walking into. I thought I did at least. Um, this was, this one was different. This, this one's different than Baltimore for sure. Um, you know, I, I, I know how to live in that world. I know how to walk that.

TJ: that path.

Katy: Uh, somewhat, I mean, I tripped and stumbled enough, but, um, so it, it, it wasn't daunting to me.

Katy: Um,

TJ: it,

Katy: it wasn't so uncomfortable because it was so unknown. So I think that, that helped. I managed to convince myself it wasn't going to be that bad.

TJ: going to work.

Katy: I was like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. I've done it before. It'll be fine. So that also helped, you know, get me back

TJ: to

Katy: into doing it. I think about it now and I'm like, I don't ever want to do it again.

Katy: I think I'm really, I really, I think about the kids in the academy now and I'm like, oh my god, you poor kids. It was so, you know, it's, it's a long, it's a long time to And I mean, I could have gone through Marine Corps boot camp twice in that amount of time. Um, Baltimore County Academy, when I went through now, now they do do EMT in Baltimore County.

Katy: They didn't at the time. So my Baltimore Academy was only 13 weeks.

TJ: Wow. Yeah,

Katy: Just fire and EMR. So, um, the amount of time you spend in the Howard County and, you know, you come out with more credentials, you come out with more certifications, uh, and you come out actually having been in the fire engine,

TJ: convincing myself that it

Katy: so, um, yeah, it. I think, like I said, convincing myself it wasn't going to be that bad was what got me to go back, but.

TJ: Your previous experience must have given you a bit of like a quiet calm about it.

TJ: So, 

Katy: and this was a source of contention for me in the academy. Um, I tried very hard. And I, I know that I actually failed at it, uh, cause I was told that I failed at it. Um, I tried to walk the fine line of, yes, I have done this before, but I want to show you that I'm, I'm buying in, that I'm vested. So, you know, I didn't want to be one of the people who go through EMT again and they walk in and just fall asleep right away.

Katy: So I made, I, I tried to balance that. But no, I'm paying attention. Like I'm. I'm listening, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm here and like then seeming like a know it all.

TJ: I, I.

Katy: I think I, uh, tripped over into the, the

TJ: the

Katy: it all side a little more than I wanted to, but the intention was to show that I was bought into the process and that I'm here and I'm present.

Katy: And despite having, you know, done this with a little bit of experience, I'm still here and I still want to be here and I'm still. Um, you know, you want them to know that I'm not just coasting because I've been in EMT for five years and worked wherever I worked. So, that was difficult for me, and I, I think that's something, if you're coming into an academy with any kind of experience, that, it's a, it's a difficult line to walk, but it's, it's the one worth walking.

Katy: You don't want to be the, the know it all that tells the, tells the stories, well, this is how I did it here, but you don't want to, Be the person that is so lackadaisical because they know it, that they're not, they're not involved. Um, so, you know, you don't know a firetruck's red until they tell you. And yeah, it was, like I said, it was a difficult line and I know that I didn't walk it as well as I wish I had, but

TJ: it's a humbling experience.

Katy: Oh, for sure, for sure.

Katy: And especially when you're. My age and, you know, you're, you got 19 year olds in there with you. Like you're certainly, you know, humbled, humbled,

TJ: how did that

TJ: experience change.

TJ: your overall perspective on the fire service?

TJ: Because you have gotten to experience

TJ: it, that,

TJ: that kaleidoscope almost from so many different angles, we, most of us just come in and we're like Recruit, go through the Academy, go into a career.

TJ: You've been in, you've been out, you've tried again. You've gone through it a second 

Katy: career, career probation. 

TJ: We did have a couple, there's,

TJ: yeah, There's a couple guys who did like two academies with us, and then went and did another academy elsewhere. They just, they just love academy life. What

TJ: would you tell yourself from a couple years ago, being where you are 

Katy: now? And I've been asked that, like, would you do it again? And, yeah, of course I would, to me, it was worth it. I wonder if there was a, maybe a more direct path I could have taken to get here, but I wouldn't have given up the experiences I had in my previous department or the experience I, experiences I had doing the humanitarian aid, um, just to have made this process more comfortable or more timely.

Katy: Um, so

Katy: what, wait, what did you ask

TJ: You're looking at Katie

TJ: from a couple years ago.

Katy: uh, what do 

TJ: you know now? Having been where you've been, what would you tell her? 

Katy: her? Um, it's not going to be as easy as you think it's going to be. Uh, you're certainly it's. Which, you almost have to think it's going to be easy, right? To do it. You have to think that it's going to be a seamless plug and play just to get yourself into it.

Katy: But, um, I, I really, I did and a credit to the Howard County Academy. I did think it was going to be a lot easier than it was. That's for sure. And I think there's so many things that attribute it to the level of difficulty. Um. Um, one being the length of time and two, the it's, you know, it's just structured much more paramilitary than Baltimore County was.

Katy: Um, so yeah, it's not going to be as easy, but it's certainly going to be worth it. Cause to end up where I am now, I love my shift. I love my station. I love how this department feels overall. I can't explain it. People like, what's different? I was like, it feels different here. It feels different here. Sure.

Katy: There are like the little nuances that make it obviously better. Like you guys don't have to pay, we don't have to paint hydrants here. That's amazing.

TJ: don't give anybody any ideas.

Katy: But it's, it's, it's, it's just feels different, which I wouldn't, I'm glad that I got here. You know, I, I would tell if I could go back to first year Baltimore County, Katie, who was really not enjoying her probationary periods, two years there, you're on probation for two years. Yeah. Um, and be like, Hey, it's, it's not like that everywhere.

Katy: When I was about to come out into the field here, I was very apprehensive. I had a lot of anxiety because all I knew was that. year, and I was like,

TJ: like,

Katy: ugh, right, but I was like bracing myself for it, and you're bracing yourself for the wave that never hits you, and that was a very, very nice sigh of relief, you know, to come out into the field, and you get to your station, and Jeff Schilling walks up and hugs you, and you're like, what, where am I?

TJ: like, Where am I?

TJ: Yeah, he's

Katy: So it was, it was really,

TJ: a different breed.

TJ: He's, he's a solid dude.

Katy: sure is, he's fantastic. They all are. My whole shift's fantastic.

TJ: Yeah, he got a pretty good

Katy: I do. I've got some good people over there.

TJ: Kenny.

Katy: Just give him a big bite.

TJ: Oh, God. I got stories about Kenny.

Katy: No, no.

TJ: I'm

TJ: surprised we didn't get banned from that. hotel Doing some of the things that we did to him. But I'm not sure

TJ: about the statute of limitations on that.

TJ: So we are

TJ: not going to delve any deeper into that.

TJ: So let's step away from the fire service for a bit. Let's talk about everyday life. 

Katy: Sure. 

TJ: Talk to me about physical fitness. 

Katy: Physical fitness.

TJ: I've seen your, don't,

TJ: don't even, I've seen the videos of you doing some wild stuff in the gym. 

Katy: uh, I will say that I have not, everyone's like, Oh, I am not a genetically predisposed athletic person whatsoever.

TJ: athletic person whatsoever.

Katy: Um. You know, people are like, Oh, like what, what, how do you get there? Like, what's your mental, whatever. I'm like, it's literally a choice you have to make. And you have to make that choice every single day to, to, to, you have to choose, you know, they choose violence. You have to choose that lifestyle every day.

Katy: It never becomes putting yourself in a position where, you know, you're going to be. uncomfortable for two hours a day. Like that never is something like, yeah, I can't wait. I cannot wait for that. So you have to choose it. And it's, you sometimes have to choose it multiple times a day, especially with our job.

Katy: If you get interrupted and you're just like, it's, it's never, you know, people are like, Oh, it's second nature to me yet. It's a habit. I still think if you. Grind it down to the, to the bones of, of having that lifestyle, having that active lifestyle. You still, everyone chooses it. Everyone wakes up and when they're making their mental plan for the day.

Katy: They say, all right, I'm going to do this. I'm going to work out. I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. You still have to plant it in. It's not, it's not as second nature as people would like to believe it is. And that's why it's so hard for everyone. And that's why starting out when people are starting out, trying to create, uh, the space in their life to be active or, or to integrate some kind of fitness program, there was like, why is it so hard for me?

Katy: It's like, it's not hard for you. It's hard for everyone. It's just. You have to, you have to choose it. And you have to make the space for it. And if you don't, it's never, it's not one of those things that you can be wishy washy about. You're either in it or you're out of it. So it's, that's the tough part of it.

Katy: The tough part is... Making the time to be uncomfortable and deciding every day. I'm going to be uncomfortable today. That's what we're doing

TJ: Pretty straightforward.

Katy: I mean, 

TJ: easy, but straightforward. 

Katy: easy but I I will say It's amazing what, in my experience, making that choice does for your, your mental health.

TJ: Tell me more.

Katy: Tell me more. Wow. You know, it's,

Katy: there are times, so I used to do a lot of jiu jitsu. And I would tell people, or, I don't, I'm like I just tell people things. When people would ask me if I liked it or, or whatever, I'd be like, it's the best therapy I've ever been to. Because you cannot think of anything else than, Not getting choked out or not getting a joint manipulation that's going to make you break your arm.

Katy: Like it's, it's all you can think about. So there's no room to go off on these tangential thought processes. That ended up spiraling you down a hole. I feel like it's the same with any exercise, maybe to me, not as all consuming because I've never done anything where my hair gets sweaty like jujitsu, but you know, you're, you're working out, you're miserable.

Katy: There's no, there's no space in your mind for anything else. So it's almost like that break you get from your own head. You know, you're, you're in a spot during the day. You know, everyone gets there. You're just sitting here. I, if you weren't here, I'd just be staring out the window thinking about, you know, either making lists of all the shit that I haven't done that I need to do, or trying to figure out how to make my kids less crazy or whatever it is that people think about if they're, if they're perseverating on a bad call, you know, whatever they're sitting there thinking about it.

Katy: What a nice way to fucking give your brain a break. And you go down or you go out, you do something for an hour and a half, where, for the most part, all you can focus on is not dying and controlling your breath, and it's something physical and something you can physically control, whereas your mind, you can't always reel that in.

Katy: Um, what a nice way to reset. And, you know, sometimes when you come back. All that stuff that was stirring around up there, maybe it's, maybe it's settled down into it's, it's homeostatic state and you're, you're much more adept to processing those thoughts, those problems, whatever. I don't know. I think, and as someone who probably should go to therapy but never has, I, it's to me, it's my brain break.

Katy: You know, it's. It's, and you look at the science and all the endorphins and all the chemicals it creates, whatever, if anything, it just gives you a break from yourself where you can control the outcome. You can control how much effort you put in and you can control what you get out of it. So otherwise you just become stagnant and all of those, all of those paths you wish you weren't walking down for whatever reason that you don't get a break from just.

Katy: Continue to eat, eat away and ruins your whole day. I've been on those, you know, you, you get in and out of it and I can sit here and say that, You have to make that choice and you choose it every day. I don't choose it every day. There are days where I'm like, not today, Satan. I'm, I don't feel like it. And those are the days that I should and those are the days that I end up feeling worse.

Katy: Because I haven't given myself that break or I haven't given myself time to process something other than my own thoughts. Oh, I don't know. God, I ramble. I just ramble. Oh, this is perfect for

TJ: The worst kind of

TJ: guests is the ones that you ask them a question and they answer like, 

Katy: Yes. 

TJ: Right. Yes, next. You're like, oh man, I'm it's like pulling teeth here.

Katy: Goals and aspirations. Oh my 

TJ: Fireserve? Now I'm, like, It's, it's a question. you know what, There is zero judgment because most people expect like, well, I would like to promote, I want to be a chief one day. 

Katy: Really just wanna be useful. It's, I, I, I just wanna be like a useful member, uh, someone where, you know, like, sure do.

Katy: I. Do I want to drive eventually? Sure. Do I want to promote? Me, probably. Not yet. God, not anytime soon. I'm still on probation. That's why, like, you know, people hearing this will be like, She's still on probation. Rookie. Um, right now,

TJ: I

Katy: I just want to be someone who, when you're looking at Telestaff and you see I'm on your shift, you're like,

Katy: good. 

TJ: Like, bet.

Katy: I can rely on that person. I don't have to worry that they're going to come in and Not gel with the shift or not pull their weight or not know what they're doing. Or I'm going to have to follow them around and they're going to be more of a hindrance than a help. That is my, my current goal. Um, and I say current, it will probably always be my goal.

Katy: I will always want to be someone who is useful on a team, um, and, and useful in a situation of crisis. , you know, that's what I want. Um, do I have, like, you know, and again, it goes back to this, the snap decision. Um, I wake up every day and I'm like, yeah, I wanna be, I, so I, I went to me school. I, I would like to be a tac medic.

Katy: I mean, I, I think that would be cool. Uh, I want to, there's so many options here in Howard County, which is nice. Um, 

TJ: and I love that you qualify that, that my goal now is My aspiration right now is,

TJ: to be useful because

TJ: that speaks to the fact that we as people evolve and so do our goals. Right. And while you might be saying, I mean, I'll use myself as an example.

TJ: I came in and I was going to do 30 years, I was going to promote, educationally speaking, I think if you look at leads, I don't know, some sort of chief because of a couple of degrees that I have. like educational wise, it could put me up there. And as time goes on 

Katy: Yeah. The goals, 

TJ: the goals change. 

Katy: And that's why I don't, I don't, I don't know because every day I'm like, well, maybe I wanna do this, maybe I wanna do that. But the, the constant is I wanna be a person who other people can, can comfortably rely on and, and know that I'm not going to drop the proverbial ball or. Or be a burden on a shift.

Katy: Like I just want to be, I just want to be useful. And I think now, and it just dawned on me that Dave Angelo asked me that same question six years ago. And that was my answer then too. And it's, it's, it's still funny to me that that rings true. Um, cause it does, I don't know. You've been on, I'm sure calls with people who are just in the way.

Katy: I don't want to be that person. So. That will probably always be the goal. How that

Katy: changes depending on my role, we'll say, we'll say, do I feel ready to be anything else yet? Nope.

TJ: yet? I mean, you're enjoying that life of just being told what to do, when to do it, and where to, like, uh.

Katy: Did you enjoy your coffee? I've been making coffee for three years, three years on a probation. I should know how to make coffee right now.

TJ: It is so good. There was, There

TJ: was a flow lieutenant who used to come to our station and, uh, demand tea. Nobody at our station drinks

Katy: No,

TJ: I made all

TJ: the teabags disappear the guys were like, dude, you're gonna get us in trouble. I'm like, I just want the mayhem.

TJ: Like, I just want him to try to

TJ: do...

TJ: Because nobody here knows how to make tea correctly. So let's just let him do his own thing.

TJ: Don't be like me.

Katy: Don't, I won't, I don't know how to make tea though.

TJ: I don't

Katy: I don't make this. I, I, I, 

TJ: tea is one of those things that like, it's sort of, like it divides people. people, are like, you have to steep it for this amount and leave it there or not leave it there.

TJ: And Like people get.

TJ: into fights

TJ: about that. Then I'm like, y'all do your own thing. 

Katy: Right. 

TJ: Like, if you, If we can't get along, then we're just making the teabags disappear. 

Katy: I'm gonna, I'm gonna, uh, go ahead and clean this toilet while you guys figure it out.

TJ: With a toothbrush.

Katy: With a toothbrush. Your toothbrush. Just kidding.

TJ: I don't get that luxury.

TJ: What is the one failure

TJ: that you cherish the most?

Katy: that is the whole point. You're on the

TJ: list? Oh, absolutely not. That is That is the clincher. Something

Katy: spot, and you're ready,

TJ: you should spring on someone. That's the whole point. You're on the spot and you're

TJ: Primed, and ready.

Katy: There are

TJ: different

Katy: different degrees of failure, and

Katy: I would say the failure that kind of jumpstarted me down this path that I'm currently on was probably the most important one. Even though it's the one that happened in my late, you know, I was a, I was not a child that as a parent, you would feel comfortable that they are going to make something of their life.

Katy: Um, I was not a kid that when my parents would go out somewhere with their friends and they ask how your kids are, I wasn't the one they talked about. Um, I had a very, I have a very successful. Sister who, you know, full ride to college, never got in trouble, um, had a successful path, did a good job at all that stuff, I wasn't that kid.

Katy: So, I think,

TJ: Though,

Katy: though, while I'm, I'm sure I have misstepped plenty, uh, since I've been on this road, that initial fork. That's the most important one because like I said in the beginning, had I not fallen so far from a successful person that I, you know, get released from a holding cell, two planes fly into a building and then I'm like, oh, I fucking better just join the military because what else am I going to do?

Katy: Had that not happened, who knows? I can't imagine it was anything good. Like thinking about what I, what I used to be as a person and then, and then managing to fall into one of the careers in the military that is the most beneficial outside of the military. If that makes sense. I mean, we're not to sound whatever, to get out of the military and make six figures with no.

Katy: degree whatsoever based solely on what you did and the battalion you were in, in the military, like that's, that was a lucky, a lucky place to be found. So I think that, that walking a path of failure for in my very formidable years, and then having the wherewithal to take that right instead of the left, I would not be where I am today, a hundred percent.

Katy: Uh, 110 percent and I, you know, people are always like, well, would you want your kids to join the military? Absolutely. Yes. If, if, if there's ever a question, it's very cliche, you know, well, is, do you think it's a good idea to put people, troubled kids into the military? Uh huh. Uh huh. If you can get, if you can convince them to buy into it and you can get them on, get them in a place where it's going to end up being beneficial.

Katy: Absolutely. Uh, if it can work for me, it can work for anyone. But yeah, I think, like I said, sure, missteps along the way.

TJ: I've

Katy: I've been divorced a couple of times, but I've landed on the other side of that. Uh, I have a great family. Um, you're sitting in a house that I very much love.

TJ: Uh, I have a great family. Um, you're

Katy: It smells nice in here. 

TJ: in here. I like your plants. 

Katy: thanks.

Katy: It's my favorite plant. Um, yeah, but that, that's those failures that early on. I think, when I think back about how lucky, I mean just the fucking sheer luck that I'm not dead.

TJ: that

Katy: Thinking about the things that I've done in those times, like the questionable, what were you thinking things? And, and ending up here, where I am now, I, it's, I can't, I couldn't be more grateful that the powers that be or whatever universal pull decided to Make sure that

TJ: I ended

Katy: I ended up on the right side of

TJ: of things, so I'm sure you wanted something

Katy: I'm sure you wanted something more solid 

TJ: No, that was

TJ: absolutely perfect. Your story is

TJ: incredible. As an immigrant, on

TJ: You've done enough work in a couple years for, like, more than

TJ: people do in lifetimes and in generations. And it speaks volumes to your character, being able

TJ: to help those Who are just beyond in need It's very, 

Katy: Well it's very, uh,

Katy: having, ooh Um, having, having seen what it takes to get here, I think a lot of people take it for granted and

Katy: it's, I feel like as a natural born citizen, my responsibility to,

Katy: to do a job where I'm giving, there are so many people fighting so hard to be here. You know, people talk shit about this country all the time. There are people killing themselves for 15 years trying to navigate legislation that Is it written in another language that so now you have to and figure out how to be how they're fighting so hard to become members of this country that it's only fair that the people who were lucky enough to be given it for free,

Katy: try to give some part of that back. Even if it's not like where you're dedicating your adult life to giving back, but

TJ: I,

Katy: having that experience and dealing with so many people and seeing what it's like, like seeing what the, what the process of immigration is like, like, it gives you a whole new perspective and it gives you a whole new sense of, of levity and gravity of the situation of, of what people are willing to do to get here.

Katy: Just seeing all those people willing. The amount of, and I know we're kind of circling back, the amount of trust I was given by those, whatever Matthew did people where they've never,

TJ: 40.

Katy: don't know who I am. They know me, they know me on a text message or a phone call or a WhatsApp or signal, whatever we're using.

Katy: And I'm saying, Hey, go here and get on this bus and I'm going to bust you four hours to freedom. And they did it like, that's the kind of, those are, these are the people. That's how bad it is. That's what they're fleeing. When they're willing to take the word of Some person they've never even seen to put their whole family, put their babies.

Katy: We had a whole bus once that was just babies. It was just orphans to put them all in a bus. And I'm going to say, don't worry, I got you. You're going to be okay. I know it's going to be a tough ride and we're going to go through six checkpoints that we've already paid off. Don't worry about it. Just do what you're told.

Katy: And you're going to stay in this hotel. Don't worry, I'll get you food. Food will show up. And I'm going to drive you to this airport and don't worry about the scary men. I've already talked to them. The fact that people were willing to just do that, a sight unseen, wild.