032. We Are Not Firefighters, We Are Humans Performing As Firefighters: Shooting from the Hip With Stack [Part 2]

In Part 2 of this candid and unscripted podcast episode, TJ and Stack dive into a heartfelt conversation about their personal and professional journeys, discussing their visions for 2024, the importance of community, and their shared passion for storytelling. Join them as they reflect on the lessons learned, the challenges they've faced, and the powerful impact of their podcasting journeys.

Major Points of the Episode:

1. Reflecting on Personal Growth: TJ and Stack share their thoughts on personal growth and how they've evolved as individuals throughout their podcasting journeys.
2. The Power of Community: Both hosts emphasize the significance of building and nurturing a strong podcasting community. They discuss the positive impact of their listeners and patrons and their aspirations to continue supporting those in need.
3. Expanding Beyond the Fire Service: TJ talks about the evolution of his podcast and how he aims to broaden the scope of topics and stories beyond the fire service, emphasizing the importance of relatability and humanity.
4. Providing Platforms for Others: Stack and TJ speak on the ability to give others a platform for sharing their stories, highlighting the potential for growth and connection within the firefighting world.
5. 2024 Goals: TJ and Stack outline their goals for 2024, emphasizing their commitment to building a legacy on their own terms and continuing their journeys with passion and determination.

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Transcript

Stack: Yeah, I, I, I'm obviously, not obviously, I don't know how many of your listeners listen to my show, but, uh, I'm a vocal advocate for other methods of, of medication. Um, I don't believe in, in big pharma.

I think that, that they've done more damage to this country than, than just about any other thing, maybe. Maybe insurance companies have done more damage. I'm not sure, but it's, uh, there's, there's been so much damage done by big pharma and it's, and it's, it's, um, it doesn't benefit any of us to, to take, to [00:01:00] take some of these pills because you just chase them down with the next pill to, to correct some of the issues caused by the first pill.

And I think it is, uh, I think there's some common sense things we can, we can all do to, to moderate our own behaviors. I'm not saying that pills are not necessary ever. I'm not saying that, but I don't, I think they're overprescribed. Agreed. 

TJ: Agreed. And you guys, you can use cannabis at your department, right?

Stack: Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I made a mistake the other day. I, well, I don't know if we call it a mistake or not. I, um, I thought it was a 10 milligram and it was a 25 milligram. And I could not understand why I was so fucked up. I was just like, I don't, I gotta go to bed. And then I woke up next morning. I was like, Oh, that explains it.

And it was, that was a 25 milligram. Oh, 

TJ: dude, we had this older couple, like they were fine. Older. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's, it's fine. Older for the stuff that they were doing, they were like mid seventies. I want to say, and it was just after [00:02:00] Maryland had legalized it. And they went out to a dispensary, got some edibles and then went up to the local like brewery and hung out.

And we got the call for, you know, chest pains, like dry mouth, took some drugs type thing. And both like, you know, he's. He's behind the driver's like he's behind the wheel and she's sitting there. She's giggling. He's He's got the old the old dry mouth also terrified like paranoid as could be Trying to explain and he's like I'll do we each want to only took like five of those little gummies And we're like, I like where where are they?

They pop the trunk cuz they were terrified to get it of like the police catching them. So I put everything in the trunk Oh, yeah, they sat in there. They took five. I think it was 0. 3 Grams. So the dude in the like each one, I think, I think the math came out to like over a gram [00:03:00] of THC in like per person and they had like, they started feeling the effects.

So, you know, no medical attention. We just call them a lift and the guy's like, what am I going to do? And one of the dudes in the end is like, you're going to go home. You're gonna lay down on the grass and hold on to the world for real, for dear life, because you have a hell of a trip coming. Cause you're about to fall off the face of this earth.

Oh my god, I mean I was kinda jealous, I was like, I wanna be, I wanna have over a gram in my system, like I'd be in great fucking time right 

Stack: now. Probably gonna sleep for about 16, 17 hours. 

TJ: Oh god, like that, it was It was awesome, but you know, not, not the overdoses that we're used to. We're used to the ones where they come out swinging after you shoot them up with Narcan three, four times.

I forget where I was going with it. Oh, yeah. No, you guys have, you have, you guys have that legalized. We keep, we're going into negotiations here soon and I, at this point, I sound like a broken record. I'm like, yeah, sure. Give us more pay, but also [00:04:00] keep pushing that medical cannabis. Keep, 

Stack: keep going for it.

You know, I, I think in my head. And you and I have talked about this and I've talked about it on my show. I'm not long for this world. I started this job when I was 44 years old. You know, I, uh, I, this was, this was not a whim or anything like that, but I started this job at 44. I've been in for 10 plus now.

And You know, I'll be 55 soon. Um, I'm 

TJ: not long. I want to look like you when I'm 55. 

Stack: Um, I'm not long for this job So I I have this running tally in my head the benefits of staying in versus the benefits of getting out And the more that I study what sleep does for us, what, what plant medicine does for us, what, um, just, just the peace of mind of not getting up, you know, not getting up and, and, and being thrown into certain situations that the stuff that, that I see that I go, okay, if I, if I leave the fire department, I can put [00:05:00] some of that beside behind me.

And it starts to, the, the, the good of leaving the department starts to way outweigh the, the, the good for staying in the department. And, um, we've talked about it. I've talked about a few times with, um, when I interviewed James Gearing, he talked about having, finding that force multiplier, you know, he, he ran a, he ran a, um, I think it was a lift assist at like two in the morning.

And he just woke up for the lift to see like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, I'm going to help this, this woman up off the floor, which is a help. Don't get me wrong. Every time we go lift somebody up, we're doing a service that nobody else is giving them. But he's like, I'm losing sleep. I'm, I'm killing myself to go do a lift assist.

When I get off and I, and I do my show and I'm reaching thousands of ears, there's thousands of sets of ears every time I do a show. That show is my full force multiplier. I can do more good through that show than I can lifting one woman off the floor at two in the [00:06:00] morning. Now we affected a good amount of change for that woman, obviously, cause she was going to freeze.

She was going to be, there was going to be damage done if she stayed on that floor. I don't discount that. What I, what I, what I, what I want to pay attention to is when can I make more of a change just doing the show versus firefighting. Right. Or, and it's not even firefighting anymore. Let's be honest.

We're, we're EMS service with a fire thrown in. 

TJ: Yeah. Every now and then if we're lucky. 

Stack: So, and you know, they're, they're the big city guys that are running fire and, and that's, they're going to, they're always going to do that. But for us, we've got such safety measures put in place now. Fires are just very rare.

TJ: And to your point, And this is going to be an unpopular thing to say, but I believe that part of evolving as a human being and evolving in this career means always keeping track of the pros and cons of staying and realizing that as a career goes on, there has to be [00:07:00] change. There has to be, I, it's, you verbalized it in such a way that.

You, you, you drew exactly the thoughts that, that I've had, which is every passing day that scale gets tipped a little bit more and a little bit more every call after midnight is a bit more of like, it's not worth staying as to whether I piss off tomorrow and just like skip town and sell my belongings and go, I don't know as of if, you know, can I last another nine years?

I don't know, but the fact of the matter is. The scales, like they're, they're changing and they should, they should, we need to evolve. We need to take stock of our lives. I'm, I hope I don't still have that same mindset that I had when I came in to the fire service, even as a volunteer. Like, I hope I have changed.

I hope I have improved and, and evolved as a person and as a [00:08:00] firefighter, because That's, that's the point of life. I don't want to be that stagnant kid from, you know, who walked into the, the volley house in 2005 and with, you know, full of piss and vinegar thinking I was going to save the world. Like I, I need to be changing.

I need to be realistic. I need to also realize that there's going to come a point that this body is just not going to be made for this. Like it's, there's going to come a point and we both, we've seen those guys who have been in 30, 40 years. They're limping. It hurts getting up in the morning. And, you know, at the end of the day, every now and then we should do stuff for ourselves and, and live that life, whether it's for a couple of years or for a few decades, the life that we want, regardless of where the fire service comes into play.

But my question, you and I know the weights that tip the scale towards leaving. Mhm. Getting up after midnight, seeing the human suffering, [00:09:00] not having that force multiplier because that's a huge one. What makes you stay?

Stack: Well, it makes me stay. I've asked myself that more and more. I will be honest with you. The last few months, what's made me stay is that I had enough chaos going on personally that I didn't need to add professional chaos to it. Um, I, I've. I've had my papers drawn up and just waiting for a date and it's just a matter because in Virginia for your retirement system And it's a pittance was what I'd be getting from the retirement system, but I would still be doing a retirement a check every month They need a two month notification just to make sure they get the check get that payment in place in time So what's what's?

Kept me from doing it recently is just that chaos in my personal life, trying to get things settled with, with my mom and, and seeing her disease progression [00:10:00] through to fruition basically. Um, and like I said, she died on, on Halloween and, and a week and a half, no, a week ago we had her celebration of life.

And so it feels like that, that chapter, well, not, not closed emotionally for me, cause obviously I'm still dealing with self emotionally, but that chapter at least physically is closed. I know that there's nothing more to do for that chapter of my life. My mom is, is, is gone. She's, she's, she's relieved of whatever suffering she had going on.

Um, and I won't even get into that because that's a whole nother subject about what I believe about life after death and, or death and all that, except for suffering, no matter what. Happened to her body or her soul. Her suffering is over. Um, and that's a relief, obviously it sucks because she's dead and I'll never get the chance to have that conversation with her again, but sure.

Suffering is is done. That's what's kept me hanging around the fire service for the last few months is the fact that I'm just too [00:11:00] busy in my, in my personal life with trying to get that settled and deal with those emotions that I didn't want to add professional craziness to it as well. Um, So now I could tell you that in two months from now, I'll walk away from this or it could be four months from now, but it won't be much longer.

Um, so what's keeping me here, uh, a steady paycheck right now, you know, and, and I'm still doing good. I'm still doing good in the community. You know, we're getting out and we're, we're talking, you know, It was funny. We did pub beds. I haven't done one in a while. We did a pub bed the other day, and I forgot that that's just sometimes it's just kind of fun to interact with first graders, you know, just to see their reaction to what you have to say and see their amazement as as our rookie got dressed for them and to watch that.

And you forget how how you can affect change in those little ways. Um, or, you know, helping the helping the 78 year old man who was first He's, you can see it. He, he's, he's soiled [00:12:00] himself and his wife isn't strong enough to take care of him. And so here comes a truck crew, four guys that to help take care of them.

And, and they're effusive in their apologies, but you're thinking to yourself, well, if we're not here, who's going to do it, right? You can't do it. You're not going to get them off the stairs and move to a bed. And then I look at it and go, lady, you have no idea what's ahead of you. Cause this is just a start for you.

Mhm. You know, and so I see that and yeah, I complained because I got up after midnight to do that. But, but after you do it, you walk away, you're like, no, I can't complain about that because that man would have suffered for the entire night. Um, so I'm still affecting good. I just want to, I want to find a way and through the show, I want to find a way to affect more.

TJ: Yeah. And that's what we talked about evolving, evolving as firefighters, evolving as firefighters who have been around for a bit and affecting that change, which, um, 

Stack: I'll take it a step further. I [00:13:00] don't want to evolve as a firefighter necessarily. I want to evolve as a human. And that will affect my firefighting or whatever I'm doing, but I need to evolve as a human, not just a firefighter, not just a 

TJ: podcast.

So divorce that identity and get back to that essence. 

Stack: It's the same thing I've talked about. You know, we're, we are, we are a human performing a job as a firefighter. We aren't a firefighter, bro. 

TJ: And that is so important. We were speaking of that evolution because. I can tell you that when I came in, even on the career side, like that, I made it my whole identity and there's nothing more grounding and more humbling than talking to somebody outside of the fire service and you're trying to explain to him, Oh, you know, so all the special ops classes that I've done and, uh, you know, got to repel off the top of a tower crane and their eyes glaze over because that means yeah.

[00:14:00] Absolutely nothing, whereas the humanity, while still there, was hidden under a uniform under turnout gear, and it's that humanity that allows us to relate to other people even beyond the realm of the fire service and to further our lives purpose. We just happen to have a hell of a cool job that sets us up.

With the right people, with the right network, with the right mindset to do that. But it's so important to, to divorce that identity. And, and sometimes I feel hypocritical when I talk about that, but I am a big proponent of what you said, like we are humans first, we just happen to be doing a firefighting job because I personally don't want to be the guy who retires and drops that two days later because I no longer have an identity.

And I've watched these guys with. 3040 years who refused to leave because they have done nothing in those 34 years, 30 to [00:15:00] 40 years, except be in a firehouse when I'm gone. I'm gone for good. I don't know what I'll be doing. Maybe stuff on like out in the periphery or maybe my mind will pick up a new hobby that I can monetize that I can make money off.

I'll hell I can go start making leather purses right now and make a living. But it's yeah. So important that have this be a key takeaway of this episode at least to remove that remove the job and what we do from that identity because to to our families, right? We are more than just firefighters. They don't care.

They want stack. They want T. J. They want that person whom they know and love. They don't want, you know, the truck driver. They don't want the guy wearing turnout gear. They want that person and. And that's also a warning for people like you and I, who, people like you and me, who are diving into these projects [00:16:00] not to get wrapped up in, in the success, in the identity behind it all and just be like, no, at the end of the day, we're still humans.

We still, I've thought about this a lot and I always try to look at it from a nihilistic point of view, from, from the point of view of death is coming and it's coming for all of us, whether we want to admit it or not, but there's going to. Come the day where hopefully if we're lucky we're gonna be in our 90s in a comfy bed surrounded by the people that we love But there will come the point where we have to take that big sleep And I want to set myself up so that when that happens, it's the people who are there It's not the achievements because I'm not going to be wishing I went to more fires.

I'm not going to be wishing I went and did more podcast episodes or that I was more successful or [00:17:00] when that moment comes, I'm going to be wishing I had more time with those people around me and that's sort of my viewpoint. That's and we've gone down this rabbit hole when it comes to humanity, but it's um.

At the end of the day, we, we are just humans and we can't forget to be humans just because of the job that we do. 

Stack: No, we can't. And, and like I said, you have to evolve as a human or, you know, what's, what's the purpose of living if you're not evolving as a human, if you're not changing and improving upon yourself.

TJ: Now, talking about evolving, how are, how is stack and how is the things we all carry evolving in 2024, which I'm 

Stack: going to go back real quick. Cause you said, um, what, what people around you want, they want to know that your stack or TJ or whatever. And we both know that we, we use two names in our lives. Um, and I'm not going to out you and I'm not going to out me, but [00:18:00] people I know when I hear someone address me where I stand with them, because God damn, because I'm stacking one realm and I'm myself in another realm and I got caught up in that persona of the nickname for a bit.

And I decided that I had to. Outside of a professional standpoint because nicknames are life in the fire department, but I decided that outside of it, I did, I stopped introducing myself as stack because it was, it was, it, it didn't, I didn't want to bleed the two worlds together. I wanted it to be my life and my job.

So in, in the job, I obviously, and on this show, I go by stack and you've heard people refer to me as my, with my first name on this show. And you, you personally have heard people refer to me by my first name when we hang out, you know, together socially. Um, and so I, I kind of can. I, I, I know [00:19:00] people, I know where I stand with people based on what they call me normally.

And I don't mean that with you necessarily, cause you, you've always known me as Stack. Most people that, that I know are, are, um, the more in depth relationships I have won't, won't call me by my nickname. And that's, and I think that's a whole nother piece of. That fire department of, of making sure you keep your humanity and making sure you, you don't lose your identity in, even in nicknames, don't lose your identity.

TJ: Bro, the fact that you brought that up floored me because my whole life I've, I've experienced similar things. I can tell who has known me by which face of my life, or, you know, Taylor Swift uses the word heiress. So who knows me by which era based on what they call me? Hey, that Reese is swifty. Who isn't a Swifty?

Um, me. But I'm going back to like, early T Swizzle, like, Tim McGraw. Okay, well, that makes us look better. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, no, like, the [00:20:00] new stuff I can't get behind, but like, the original one, oh, where's the teardrops on my guitar? Any whom,

I recently reconnected with some friends from my high school era, and They pretty much put their foot down. They're like, we don't give a fuck who TJ is, but we're not calling you that. And it was almost a violent stripping of this identity and persona that I had built up for myself. And once the shock wore off, it was this, it was almost peaceful that I'm like, yeah, I think it's, it almost reassuring that somebody still sees me as a person.

As a human. As a human. And not as a podcaster, a firefighter, the guy behind the Instagram account, any of those things that even though it's horrifying at first that all, all those layers got stripped out so quickly, it's like, ah, [00:21:00] still me. 

Stack: Nickname allows you to, to insulate and protect yourself. You can, you can, you can create a persona based solely on that, that nickname.

I think that's what I tended toward and I wanted to get away from that. And so that's why I've stopped introducing myself that way in most, uh, situations. Yeah. 

TJ: Yeah. And it's, and just like as it allows us to insulate ourselves from the people that we care about, it also allows us on a positive framework to create that space and that boundary from How did I say this without coming across as an asshole?

Fuck it, from the people that are not that important to our lives. When I go to conferences and events and the like, people get TJ. Because while I'm there and I am present with them and I am enjoying the moment, [00:22:00] they don't get to come into the inner sanctum. They don't get to know who I really am. I get to control that persona.

Hell, that's why I used to go to all these events. By myself. I was the only one from my department because I had full control of the image that got portrayed. I was able to make sure that the apartment looked good. Right. I was also able to make sure that I presented only as much of myself as I wanted to, but you dodged my question anyway.

Stack: What was 

TJ: the question? 2024. How are you evolving? How is, how are you evolving? And how are you planning to evolve the things we all carry? 

Stack: We talked about that out of the fire service in 2024. I know that. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Um, I will be a former firefighter, you know, turned whatever at that point. 

TJ: Ooh, question.

Yeah. Do you think that is going to dilute your message at all? Do you think that is going to take away any of her credibility? 

Stack: No, I don't think so. I, I think that. It would take it away if this show is so solely based on firefighters, but I don't do tactics. I don't do, I don't do just firefighters. I don't, that sounds weird.

Anyway, um, I don't, my, my focus isn't just firefighters. Um, for, for example, in the next week, I have, um, I have a variety of people. I have a, I have a hospice [00:24:00] nurse coming on at the end, in the beginning of the year. And she's going to talk about. how hospice care, how it affected her and how what we can look for as first responders, as police, as nurses, as doctors, as firefighters and how hospice can be intertwined in there and how we should react to patients in hospice or families experiencing hospice care.

Um, you know, I've had, I've had therapists on, I've had, you know, I've had all kinds of people on where I'm trying to not just focus on fire. Um, I would love to have more law enforcement on, more veterans, uh, like I said, even nurses who had to, you know, the hell they went through with COVID on those units, that how their staffing numbers were through the roof and, you know, trauma doctors, there's, there's all kinds of people out there experiencing these traumas.

It's not just firefighters and I started to show it and I was focused on firefighters because that was my, that was my knowledge base. You know, I started that show, I started the show after five [00:25:00] firefighters in our area killed themselves within one year, but that's You know, even that's a small world because one of the firefighters that killed himself is at a loud was at a Loudoun County as a rookie, but it turns out I went up to my sister's house to visit her when my mom was sick and, and the lady pulled me aside from their Wednesday night group.

And she said, I just want to introduce myself and thank you. I was like, okay, great. And I said, thank me for one. She goes, Oh, I've listened to your show. And I said, wait a second. Well, you've listened to my show. Turns out her, that firefighter in Loudoun County, it was a young rookie who killed himself, was her nephew.

And I had no idea, you know, it was just, he was, he was one of the five that year that decided that they'd had enough. And for some reason they took their own lives. Um, and. What I did for that group of people his crew is I actually was supposed to go eat lunch with them Because I just wanted to sit down and talk to them and see how they were doing We get iced in so I ended up just buying them pizza and they they picked it up and had a [00:26:00] meal on me But I had no idea she was a friend or there was some relation to my to my sisters through that and it's just that small World moment.

So I think this this topic of trauma and mental health and, uh, how to better yourself and how to, how to steel yourself against the, um, I don't know, all the shit that you, you experience on a day to day basis is universal. It's not just a firefighter thing. I dig it. Where I'm going with it, I don't know exactly.

You and I have talked about it a little bit. Um, I've had people come to me and say, Hey, how do I start a show? And you and I talked about, well, why don't we teach people how to start a show? Why don't we, isn't that maybe not a production company, but it's a, it's a, Hey, these are the bare, this is the bare minimum, what you're going to need.

Um, this is what you can, this is what you're going to experience. These are the pitfalls. These are the. You know, all of that. And so that's, that's a piece I'd love to put in there. Um, I'd like to create more of a community through my, through my, uh, through my show and [00:27:00] make that website a little more useful for things like, um, well, like I said, the mentoring, um, probably going to add a piece in there for, for teaching, um, civilians or anybody, CPR and first aid, you know, workplace safety kind of thing.

Um, There's a few routes that I want to go. I would love to write a book. I don't know, I don't know how to do it. I know that you just sit down and start typing away, but I think that some of these stories I can get, it can be fascinating at a more in depth look at it. You know, um, there's some, some of these stories I look at and I go, fuck, I can't believe these people, like what they went through, what they've, what they, what they accomplished after going through it.

It's just a, it's a, it's a testament to the human spirit and determination of, of, of their, their ability as humans. 

TJ: Busy, busy 2024 ahead of you, huh? I 

Stack: hope so. Yeah. Um, I could also just decide to be a bum and, and, and just disappear [00:28:00] altogether. You know, that's like you said, that's, that's 

TJ: all I have. Right.

Like the, the amount of times that I stand here in this living room, I'm like, I could sell it all, liquidate stocks, cash out, and just disappear. And I think both you and I know that. That's a very appealing. Yeah, because it's not just the fact of like, starting from scratch, because you're starting from scratch with the knowledge you already have.

So it's not like we'd be, we'd be in a bit of a hard time, but what better challenge than. To start at something new, like if I am that good, why not just go and do something? And it's, it's, you know, that's sometimes a pipe dream because God, my parents would kill me if I disappear, they would find me and they would whoop my ass, 

Stack: you know, we talk about reinventing ourselves or, or, or improving as humans.

And I think one of the things I do [00:29:00] find necessary in my life is learning. Uh, and I want to, excuse me, uh, I want to learn something. I don't know what that is right now, but I do want to learn something over the next year. Um, if I'm not learning, then I'm stagnant. And, and then to me, that's a waste of time.

Um, and even if it's just learning, okay, how do I do a different show? How do I add something to my plate and, and, and do two shows and, and, and like I said, have some levity. Cause this show is very fucking heavy. It's hard, it's hard to do. I mean, I listened to these stories at least three times, you know, and, and it's hard to do at times they're in.

I know when I'm getting to the point where I need a break, uh, someone asked me what I was, I was asked one time how, what, what show I was putting out. And I was like, I don't know, I'm not in the mood to listen to a show right now. And how do I do, how do I put a show out if I'm not in the mood to listen to it right now?

And so I had to find the right times and space. Uh, I had to, I [00:30:00] write about what I do. I, I, I talk about it in intros. I try to try to get out those thoughts of my own as well. So I would like to. To think that I could, I could start another show and it might not even be fire department related. I've had a couple of ideas for shows.

Um, you know, I, I was in Richmond one day and I think I told you a story. I was in Richmond one day and it was pouring down rain and I had parked at a hotel parking lot across the way. It's driving rain. And I'm the idiot that didn't bring an umbrella and homeless guy walks by and he's got an umbrella.

And I said, but I give you five bucks. If you just let me use your umbrella, go get, go get my car and come I wasn't thinking because what he had on that cart was What he had, he doesn't have anything else. And he looked at me like I'm crazy. And I'm thinking to me, I'm thinking it's just an umbrella, dude.

And he's like, it's. Um, one of my few possessions, I'm not letting it go. And so he, he said something, I said, I'll tell you what, same 5, you hold the umbrella and we walk together. And he said, deal. And so he held the umbrella for me and we both kind of [00:31:00] huddled in under this one, one umbrella and, and from the hotel to the car, I, you know, I kind of started to get a feel for not why he was homeless, but who he was.

And then we, I introduced myself, he introduced, we connected on a human element. And it was one of those ideas I have for a show is everyone has a story. I don't care who you are on the street. I don't care how small you are or how large you are. Everyone has a story and it's, and there's some interest in, in everyone's story.

And so, um, kind of a human interest show would interest me, but I also want to do kind of a conversational show as well, where we take. I take four people from my life that don't know each other, but all know me and we have, we have a conversation and God, it's a Jeffersonian conversation. So you get to speak, nobody else speaks until you're, until you're finished.

And then we ask you a question or two and then someone else gets to speak. It's the same thing. But I would continue that on by saying, okay, now TJ, it's your turn. Pick four people from your life that, that you know, but don't know each other and send them my way. And then those [00:32:00] four will have a conversation with me as well.

And then it continues that way. Bro, that 

TJ: actually sounds amazing. Let's do it. 

Stack: Right. So it's, I think it would be if there were some ground rules for it, but I, but I, it needs, I need levity in my life. I need some fucking humor in my life. That doesn't involve blood, guts, and gore. Right, 

TJ: right, right. No, it's, it's.

That, that homeless story, it's one of my favorites that you've ever told me, because I think that's one of the ways you and I connect and we see eye to eye, is that people, that everybody's got a story and, and those who know me well know that, know where I've come from, know that well before I even made it to the States, that I, I, I lived in a place that was not as fortunate and not as fortunate.

I don't want to say opulent, but we were not as well off as most people are here, but I was still able to give [00:33:00] back to people who were needier than I was. And those moments of humanity with complete strangers, I'll always have them with me. Like I will always remember them. And it's, it's, it's incredible being able to, to tease out those stories out of people and to, to put them out there to, to, again, to.

that, that humanity. So I, yeah, I love that, that Richmond story. For some reason, I thought you offered him 20 bucks, but I guess five, I was going to say you cheap bastard still 

Stack: got wet too. It was, it was, it was a fucking downpour, but to that end, I'm, I'm always looking for people to come on the show. And one of the things I don't do well is I don't network well.

And, and you don't, you 

TJ: have some of the biggest, you've had James gearing, right? The OG of, like, the shit that we're doing. Like, you have him. I met him in real life and I still haven't had the balls to be like, Hey, come to the, [00:34:00] come, come to 

Stack: my podcast. But I don't do well. I, I really don't network well. I, I find someone to interest me.

And I, I just, I throw it out there, hey, would you be willing to talk to me? And that's not networking, that's just, that's just throwing lines in the pond. Yeah, but 

TJ: also, time out, you and I hate small talk and networking is a necessary thing. Small talk, oh my god, well I, no, well, here's, here's the contrarian in me.

You've managed to do so much while not doing it traditionally, why change? 

Stack: Well, that's why I was about to put a call out to your listeners to say if anybody wants to talk. 

TJ: By all means, whoever is listening and wants to talk, even if you feel your story is not incredible or amazing, trust me, it is. I mean, you had my homie Chris Monroe from Utah.

Stack: That dude's story. I could have dropped the mic after episode one with Chris because Chris's story probably tops just about anybody's story that I know. [00:35:00]

TJ: And again, the kind of guy who would tell you, humble. Like, salt of the earth, massive heart. I can text him right now and be like, Hey man, I need your help with something.

He'll fly all the way here, guarantee it. And I haven't seen him in probably six years. That story, boom, like, so if you're listening right now saying, Oh, it would be cool, but I don't think I have a story. You do. You have 

Stack: a story. Everyone has a story. And, and. It's a matter of, I, I, I don't know, I don't know how many of your listeners listen to my show.

I've already said that. So let me lay it out. The process is we, we talk a little bit about background, where you came from in life, what your family life was like, what your fire service career has been like, some of the traumatic calls you've seen, how you've dealt with them. Maybe a downfall. If there's a downfall, maybe, you know, if there's any kind of mental health therapy or what you do to prevent yourself from having to go into [00:36:00] some of the mental therapies and, and it's just a conversation, you know, I get to know you a little bit and then we record a show and it's, uh, It's actually, like I said, it's just a conversation between two people.

So, if anyone is interested in reaching out and coming on the show or has an idea of someone who would be a good, good guest, feel free to contact 

TJ: me. I'll put the info, I feel so badass when I say, I'll put your info in the show notes because I feel like a real podcaster when I say that. 

Stack: Well, you are a real podcaster, but you can also, they can also reach out to you and you can point them in the right direction as well.

TJ: Yes, absolutely. And you know, with how incestuous the podcasting world is, I'm probably going to snatch you at some point and, and have you on, on mine, but let's get these stories out there. Yeah, 

Stack: let's do that. Where, where, where are you taking the show in 2021? Fuck 

TJ: you. I was hoping you were going to let me go without it.

No. Well, the show and the community. Again, if I don't wake up tomorrow and [00:37:00] decide to kill, keep the promise and go full, full blown into TJ, I won't. I'm not going to do that. I love it too much. But the number one aspect is community. We've talked about those messages that we get that just push us to be more and be better.

And the people and what they get out of it. So my number one driving goal is to keep building that community. I think on on Patreon as much of a pain in the ass as that platform is we're at 90 some. Patrons and that money has helped like this year gave between selling stickers and patron money and t shirts give away, uh, almost 5, 000 bucks to Maui firefighters after the wildfires help contribute to the go fund me's for the two city Baltimore city firefighters who got killed.

And the latest one, and I actually, I need to email the guy, uh, got a Pretty sure it's Jersey [00:38:00] who just got the scholarship to come to Frederick for the key city fire conference in March. So building that community so I can. Take all those assets and give back, be able to, I would love to send people to FDIC for everything, like full, like paid everything.

One day we'll get to that point where one lucky person gets flown out, gets put in a hotel, gets, gets to do all those things. So that is the number one goal is, is to keep building the community. The number two goal is to Keep getting those stories out there and keep and maintain almost this identity that I've been able to form and what I said that that evolution of going beyond the fire service and, and finding the stories where we least expect them.

And I'm going to take a page out of your book and start reaching out to some of those people who are beyond the fire service to make it more [00:39:00] relatable because it's, um. The Fyre Service is a small microcosm and while we have a lot of stories that humanity can, can expand well beyond the Fyre Service.

And we talked, the number three goal we talked about, the force multiplier, is giving other people a voice beyond just being a guest. So you and I have talked about helping people set up their own podcasts. I think that's a, that's a lofty goal, because It's, it's a worthwhile goal in, in allowing somebody to gain their own footing and find their own voice and continue on because again, I'm not going to be doing this forever.

Just like the shit that I do in leather work. I'm teaching people how to do leather work because I'm not going to be doing it forever and I want the craft to continue growing and evolving and I would love for these conversations, these tough conversations. Conversations that we were never allowed to have when we came in.

We, I want these conversations to [00:40:00] continue. And to that end, you know, I got to keep building out the YouTube recording studio up in one of my spare bedrooms and, and doing that. So I'm going to geek out doing all the technical shit when, when it comes to that, but, but definitely community, the stories of humanity and giving other people platforms so that this message can transcend our lives and the ages.

Stack: Yeah, you and I talked about community yesterday, or 

TJ: was it, did we talk yesterday about it? Yeah, we've been talking about it. Yeah, I think 

Stack: so. Something like that. And I need to start taking advantage of some of that community. I need to, to, to start building more of a feel of the community for my, for my own show and my own page and all of that.

And so that's something that I want to, uh, I'll. That's a target for 2024 for certain. 

TJ: Yeah. That's going to be, it's going to be a good year. When I look back on 2023 professionally, it was a bit [00:41:00] tumultuous, not too crazy. I mean, shout out to my shift because they have been. They have been awesome. And even some of the youngest ones are the most perceptive.

I actually had one of the, one of the young guys come up to me the other day and be like, Hey man, uh, normally you show up here at this time. You've been showing up like 10, 15 minutes past that time. You good. And it's because I've been sleeping like absolute shit. And I've been like oversleeping and racing, doing a hundred miles an hour to get to work by like six type thing.

Um, But, um, yeah, so this looking this past year, like work was tumultuous. Personal life has been a roller coaster that has kept my therapist employed. And the cool part is, I don't want to say I've hit rock bottom because I'm nowhere near rock bottom. I'm lucky to be where I am, but the cool part about getting knocked down a few times and, you know, tasting that, tasting that blood in your mouth and, and having to pick yourself up and dust yourself [00:42:00] off is that now the road ahead is so much more inviting and exciting.

And just all inspiring. So that's, um, that's the goal for 2024 is just keep walking along that road and doing good things and building out a legacy on my terms. 

Stack: There you go. I 

TJ: like it. My brother, thank you so much, not just for being on the podcast, as always, you are, you're one of my favorite guests, but also for.

pushing me to, to go into these episodes, shooting from the hip, not having any plan, not having anything. The conversation was awesome. I enjoyed it. And I think people will get a ton of value out of it as always. So yeah, somewhere 

Stack: in that hour and 30 minutes, we probably made sense once or twice,