075. The Failures Make Me Who I Am [Part 3]

What happens when you take firehouse grit and channel it into building a business? Ralph shares how his passion for the job evolved into launching Cervitas Training Solutions — and how leadership, failure, and brutal lessons learned in the fire service prepared him for entrepreneurship.

What You’ll Learn:

• How fireground leadership translates into building a business
• The surprising link between failure and long-term success
• Why ego kills growth — and how to surround yourself with the right people
• How to turn dark moments into fuel for your next win

Who This Is For:
If you’re a firefighter who’s hungry for more — more growth, more impact, and more out of life beyond the station — this one’s for you.

Transcript

Ralph: When it comes to like the leadership highs and lows, one of the things that I've struggled with is wanting to be liked. And while that falls into a part of it, it's also being able to have those tough conversations with people while still balancing that and prioritizing, Hey, we need to have this tough conversation.

And that has definitely been a, uh, a mental toll that it has taken and it gets better with time, I would say. And it's not that I don't care what people think about me, 'cause I do. And for those who, if you don't care what people think about you, I think there's also a. Part of a health there that you should still care, in essence about some people, but if you're just like going to do whatever you want and not caring about other people's opinions at all, I don't think that's a healthy way to roll either.

Uh, there's definitely a balance to it. So, um, you know, I definitely carry home stuff and for me, like I struggled with one of my guys, uh, early on when I was back in special operations. They weren't up to where I thought they should be. And I tried to motivate them, um, with tough love, you know, kid gloves and everything else.

And I, I couldn't reach 'em and to the point where they were ready to throw a transfer in and that, that definitely hurt me. And you wanna talk, you wanna talk about not being the leader? Or boss that I didn't wanna be. I was like, all right, fine. If you just, just let him go. And uh, luckily I had some people to be like, Hey, this is what leadership is.

And at the end of the day, I was actually not the person who got through to this guy. Um, it was one of one of my other firefighters. And at the end of the day, that's, uh, this young man, his name's Nick, he is one of our best, so people and operators now. And thankfully it's because somebody else got through to him.

And it wasn't that it was getting through to him, it was just there was a breakdown in, in my way of communicating. And, um, you know, so that, that's what its toll too, where I had to again, realize that I, this is, I, I'm failing here. How do I, how am I able to change this up? So, um, another aspect of the, of the leadership is the weight it carries.

And something that has always bothered me is people who promote and there's like, oh, I'm just promoting for the money or promoting for this. And I'm like, do you realize you now hold people's, like, we hold people's lives in our hands, but like your responsibility is to these people and their families.

And I remember right before I was promoting, um, the officer I was working for said to me, oh yeah, first like eight months I didn't sleep. 'cause I was just nervous about keeping people. And I was like, all right, whatever man. Uh, it's so true. And now me getting reassigned with new people because you don't know your people fully yet.

It's same thing where I'm like just laying in bed like, okay. This scenario, right? How would I handle this right? How do I keep my guys safe? How do we make sure we're doing our best to save public? 'cause I tell people my we're going to, I'm gonna put you, we're gonna go in harm's way to save lives. I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure I'm prepared and you're prepared for that moment.

But as we know, you can do everything right in this job and still end up dead. And, um, that is, you have to face that reality. And that is a, that is reality. It's as much as gravity is a constant, and a, you're, it's like a plane. Taking off is optional. Landing is not. You're coming down and, um, you either acknowledge that fact or you will be humbled by it.

So that, that strain and stress that takes on, you know, that's part of the reason why I'm medicine. 'cause I was very snappy with my kids and my wife because of the stress. Um, especially during COVID where I thought it was my responsibility to keep all my guys healthy and safe. So they didn't bring it home to their families.

And it was during that time that my wife sat me down. She's like, you're not okay. You need to go talk to somebody. And, um, I'm grateful. My wife is amazing. I'm super blessed. Um, she is, she's definitely a, a major rock for me. And, um, I'm forever grateful that she can, she has those conversations with me.

TJ: You just mentioned COVID and I remember working, I was working liaison at our hospital and uh, 'cause that dude, that was pure chaos, those initial days of. Nobody knows what they're doing. Nobody knows what the plan is. And some of your crews came in with God, I felt so bad with these like clear rain ponchos as their PPE and like it we exchanged, you know, where everybody's wearing masks and we just kind of like made eye contact and I could tell they were equal parts scared of whatever the hell was going on, but also ashamed of what they were wearing.

And I remember I found like I went into our stash of um, of gals and I gave them like an entire box. Like Listen, don't tell anybody where you got these from. You just do the best you can with them. Come back. It fell off a truck. You come yeah. Like it fell off a truck. It didn't come from me. 'cause this is like somebody else's money.

But you go out and you all be safe and do the best you can. Um. Okay, but I don't wanna sit here and rehash COVID because that was a painfully exhausting time in life. Let's look beyond the fire service. Let's look beyond the firehouse as we know it, because you have taken that leap into entrepreneurship, into being a business owner and operator, which, if you go back to the episodes that I just recorded with Mike Attenberg from, um, frontline Optics, that shit gets me going, dude, I love talking things business.

I, it's, it really stimulates my systems oriented mindset. So tell me about this new venture of yours. 

Ralph: All right, so the business is called Serita Training Solutions. Uh, the Serita is a combination of community and service in Latin. Uh, so that was kind of, that was what we wanted to be. We're community and serving it.

It's a hazmat, the majority is hazmat training, consulting with some leadership aspects of it. And it was the crazy part, the way this came about was we had, our jurisdiction had hazmat 1 0 1 consultants come out and teach, teach some classes. And I said to them, I was like, Hey, this is really interesting to me.

I love this. Here's my resume. And uh, Bob from hazmat consultants was like, Hey, we'll take a look, but we're all Orlando guys. Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm not trying to tell you no, but it's, it's probably a no-go. He's like, why don't, why don't you go and do, you know, he like looked over everything, kind of talked to me for a minute.

He's like, dude, why don't you go do this on your own? And lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. And I got to see him again. At the hazmat conference this year in Baltimore, and I was like, Hey, you're the reason we have a company. And one of my favorite things about the hazmat realm of things is there's a lot less ego and it kind of holding stuff on to, to it.

It's more of a sharing aspect. And um, when it comes to the entrepreneurship, there's a lot of people who just for the most part want to help each other out. So it's been a blast learning. We're, you know, we have some bids in for government contracts. We do air monitoring, radiological stuff. We've been able to teach some classes at hospitals, but it's been a huge learning curve for me with a bunch of acronyms and other things.

And it's cool, like you, you know, you design your own logo, uh, with the help of other people and then. You know, that's fun because then it, it's just when you see like your logo out in the wild, it's like, oh, that's so cool. Um, and I'm sure with like, keep the promise, like I get excited when I see, keep the promise out in the wild and I try to take pictures or, you know, other, it's, it's a really fun realm also with like stress where my wife's like, Hey, we've thrown a lot of money into this.

Where's our OROI? And uh, you know, we haven't taken off yet. We've been able to do some, some saw mall jobs. Um, but it's been a, a learning curve, but the amount of people who are just willing to help in that environment is so much fun. Like you're, again, you're and i's conversations, which I'm, you just had a conversation with me earlier today.

Hey, stop. Stop focusing all these other spots. And, uh, yeah, you have this opportunity, but this opportunity is gonna, you're gonna be diluted. And the fact is, I need those conversations and people to keep me honest about myself. 

TJ: So I think it goes back to what we said about people throwing shade, being like the ones who throw shade are the ones who are not doing any better than you because anybody in the, in the game, if you will, right?

Game, recognizes game or real recognizes real, whatever the expression you want to use is that you understand what it's like to stay up and be like, fuck my return on investment. It's not where I want it to be. Like, finances are rocky this month, and when you get the chance to teach, to help somebody else to avoid the same mistakes you made, you're like, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

I wish somebody had done it for me, but can't play the wishing game, so I'm just gonna pay it forward. Whatever, maybe this person's gonna rock it and, and go forth. And I always, I get so excited every time a firefighter's like, dude, I'm starting this business. I'm like, yes, let's go. I always get furious as at the ones who are like, oh, I wanna do this business, but I've been researching LLCs for the past two years.

I'm like, dude, what? Alright, so shout out to 

Ralph: you real quick. There was a guy who works for us and uh, he and I sat down and discussed it and he said exactly that. He's like, I'm, I said, dude, I'm gonna tell you right now, you need to go start ULLC today. And it was because something you said to me, I was like, all you need is a bank account.

You don't even need to have this other stuff. And lo and behold, he started his company that night. He sent me a text message. And um, so that's where it's like the brotherhood helped that, that's truly beyond it, the fire service in general. But he's gonna go do amazing things. Um. And I hope we, I, I think one, I hope you have him on your podcast.

I'll mention his name later. Um, but he's an amazing officer and amazing leader. I drove past the firehouse the other day, and, uh, he was, he's the officer there. And, uh, I see him outside cooking and I was like, dude, servant leader. And he is like, what are you talking about? And I was like, what are you doing right now?

He's like, oh, prepping dinner. I was like, no, you're cooking dinner. And he is like, stalker. I said, man, I, 'cause he's just, he speaks about it and he is about it. And, um, you know, he's gonna go do great things and help a lot of people grow. He already does. But even more so. And, um, you know, that's where it wasn't me.

It was you, me through a, as a pass on just to be like, Hey, this is what somebody did for me, kicked me in the butt. Um, I'm gonna give you the same shove I got and just do this because you can talk about it for months and years and never accomplish it. And, um, and he does a lot of stuff too, but he, you know, I'm excited.

And 

TJ: so let this be a learning lesson. For those of you who are listening, who are thinking about starting the business. Just do it. Just do it because, uh, did you, did you pay Nike for that? Oh, shit. That's right. Pull the trigger. Not literally don't shoot anyone. Just go start what you want to start, because the failures at the beginning are gonna teach you a lot more than any sort of research will, right?

We talked about it. Oh, 

Ralph: and this, this is my second company because the first one folded. Um, so again, like that's where the failure, the failures are what help really develop you in. And now you pass on that information to others to shorten their curve. 

TJ: I remember listening to a podcast where the, one of the, either the host or the guest was saying like, Hey, your first company, that's not gonna be the one that you finish with.

Like, that's, that's just the beginning. And I'm like, no, fuck no. Like, I'm gonna take TJ Leather to the world. A couple months ago I finally pulled the plug. I'm like, no more TJ Leather. I was like, damnit. He's not kidding. But most entrepreneurs have a handful of dead companies behind them because that's how you learn.

You learn. Yeah. And then you tweak things. And the unsuccessful ones have multiple companies and multiple irons in the fire, and they're diluting their effort. But through this new journey of yours, you have gotten the opportunity to, to make a splash in some big ponds. You've been overseas, right? You've gotten to travel.

Tell me about that. I have been very, 

Ralph: yes, I have been very blessed, and this is where I cannot stress this enough. This is on, again, 90% of the shoulders of others. And, um, going back to, it's all about treating people the way you wanna be treated, being kind to each other. Um, and that doesn't mean that you're not tough with your kindness.

Um, but yeah, I was able to go over to England and speak at, uh, one of their premier hazmat conferences. And it was one, the experience was phenomenal and the welcoming that they gave me, the amount of information, and this is where, you know, it's like dominoes falling. Uh, I really had dabbled in lithium ion batteries and not even touched energy storage systems while being there, getting introduced to some people in that realm, sparked it.

Um, joy f is an international company, and again, I. You know, ties or whatnot. But their CEO and I became friends and we, they're a learning, uh, training nonprofit and they're really big outside of the states, even though Teaks is actually one of their, uh, partners. And, um, the CEO for a while we would talk, I got invited to underwriter Laboratories to do EV Burns.

And again, that was through, um, one of our assistant chiefs. Um, and he,

he was just kind enough to, he was sharing some information about EVs and I said, oh. You know, asked him a question, he's like, oh, I'm going to burn, uh, some EVs in ul. And I was like, can I come? And he is like, hold on, lemme make some calls. And two days later he called back, he said, Hey, if you wanna come, you're more than welcome.

Um, and he's a volunteer assistant chief with us. And, uh, you know, they're, they're always as, uh, can be issues with volunteer and career. And we luckily don't have that very much in our dur jurisdiction. Um, people tend to get along pretty well. And that opened the door for me being in, you know, learning Tesla's people who then helped me even more in energy storage.

But now, uh, as I told you, I'll be published later, this later this month, and that opened the door for me to head to Ireland to speak at a conference. And that is all based off of, again, thankfully. A lot of people's help, um, and a lot of blessings where I'm just grateful doesn't do it justice and the appreciation that I feel because I'm here to tell you guys right now, and if you're still listening, one, don't just listen to the first 15, 20 minutes of a podcast, uh, because you won't get the full picture.

And I have done that before and now I actually listen to full podcasts so I can talk to the people on it. 

TJ: Being in that lecture circuit, how has that affected your performance at home? What sort of perspectives have you gained from that?

Ralph: So the helping at home is so crucial. I actually have an energy storage site now in my first due that I've been assigned to, and, you know, reached out for some help from, again, people who are a lot smarter than me and. It's just so awesome that they're willing to share information. And you know, one guy's a 20 year retired captain from San Jose that for the past 10 years has been doing training for energy storage systems.

And you know, that's kind of the big buzzwords right now for us is lithium ion batteries and everything like that. So, um, it, it's just the exposure to these other people and the networking. And that's where, you know, I said it before, it's, it's, oh, all right. I know my transition now. Sorry. If you are listening to this, and again, I'm so grateful for all the things I'm able to accomplish.

I am, I started off and am still very an ordinary, normal person just with I, I try to just work very hard at what I do, um, with a lot of failures, but. If you're listening to this, you have the same drive, obviously, especially if you've been listening to, to keep the promise and know that you're gonna accomplish great things too.

Just keep going if you haven't already. Um, and that's where I'm at, where if you're looking at me right now, the rolling downhill, and it might seem like, oh, this is easy street. There's still a lot of hardships. But this is where, again, a lot of people have guided me, continue to guide me, give me humility and feedback, and that is what is causing this ball to roll downhill.

Find some good mentors and leaders to follow, and the the best ones will, again, know that you're going to succeed and do great things because Captain King told me early in my career, you're gonna go do great things. Just keep pushing. And you know, it, it's, he's been right about so many things. And he continues to be right.

It's almost annoying at this point, but it, it's not i'll, I'll never pass him. But he is definitely given me a torch to run with and I am forever grateful and he keeps encouraging me and is never worried about the credit or never worried about anything like that. And I only wanna do him justice. And honestly, all the people who have truly led me.

Um, another, another reason I've been able to present other places is, uh, you know, battalion, uh, Joseph ak, who's a battalion chief with us, who is just his network and realm and his ability to speak is incredible. And he is just somebody who I am. I struggle in communication and I am trying to learn from him, and he's more than willing to teach me.

Uh. Mark, uh, mark Cusso, who's a chief up in. Um, and this is just, I, I feel a obligation to truly say how thankful I am for these guys. He has guided me through a lot of stuff recently and he's a fire chief up in New, uh, up in New England. And he just is so supportive and again, a really good sounding board for me.

And I'm just, I'm so thankful for that. And, you know, it's just, this is where you find the right people to follow and know that they'll push you when the time comes, that they'll, they won't just bring you up next to them. They're gonna push you forward. And I hope to, I hope to do that for just one person, if not a few, because I wanna see people go much further to make this all better for all of us.

TJ: And I don't doubt, like I don't have a single doubt that you'll, that you have probably done that. It's just that seeing. Getting that feedback takes a while for somebody to be like, Hey, by the way, it was you who pushed me. I want to get you back here at some point because I want to really unpack the entire physical fitness side of the house.

We've talked a lot about leadership, but I know that you're also a gym rat. And I remember you were doing a MUR a day for, I don't know, it was No, no, it was a 

Ralph: mur a week. Mur week. I can't, 

TJ: okay. Mur week. I 

Ralph: can't say mur a day. Yeah. Don't, 

TJ: ah, you coward. Nah, I do a MUR a year maybe. And you can't do a earth a day.

You absolute cow. I'm kidding. But um, yeah, watching you take on those physical fitness challenges is always fascinating. But we can sit here and talk for like three more hours and, um, we'll just, I'll have you back on. 

Ralph: Let's dive down PTSD real quick. 

TJ: Alright, let's go, let's go into ptsd. Absolutely. Do we have time?

We have time, absolutely. I have as much time as you have. 

Ralph: Well, I mean, I, you know, I, I hope you know, I, I am again, grateful to be on here. So when it comes to PTSD and mental health, we've had some really good talks. And, um, some of your other guests and I have obviously talked to, one of the best pieces of advice I got from, uh, chief Peter Jensen, he's retired battalion chief out of Ventura, Cal, uh, California.

He was like, you either acknowledge that you have PTSD or you're gonna ruin your life. Um, he's like, you need to seek therapy early on. Which again, you have also told me that, um, I'm still in the process because, you know, it used to be such a buzzword. It's not anymore. And I think, um, thankfully, our, our wor our line of work and everything has really started to shed more of a light.

You have PTSD, whether or not you want to admit it. And when I was going through paramedic school, I remember when we did this critical incident debriefing stuff. I was like, if you can't handle it, go do something else. And you know, again, I probably six or seven years on the job and thought I knew it all still.

And now I just look at myself and one, I'm glad that I've had people enlighten me, but also, um, I've had some stuff come up that has really affected me. It was, uh, the one that really got me was my dad having a massive heart attack. And thankfully he's still alive, but for shoot, six, eight months, every cardiac patient that was 60 to 80 years old male, um, whether it was an arrest or just chest pain, I was seeing my dad and I was, it, it, it was not, I was not.

Okay. Um, and, um. You know, that's where these, it just creeps up and you see friends who lose parents. And, um, you know, the weird part was like, I always try to talk to my parents after like, some pretty bad calls or, or my fam or my wife and my kids. But I just happened by that, that night before everything happened, had sent my dad a text message, Hey, really appreciate you.

I knew he was asleep. I was like, really appreciate you. I love you. Just so you know. And then like, lo and behold, the next morning he has this massive heart attack. And, uh, it was just one of those, like, really, uh, it was traumatic. And they almost released him because they're like, he was at a regional hospital up in Jersey, which is where I'm from, and they were like, oh no, we're just waiting for his troponin to go down.

I'm like, he's having a heart attack. What? What do you mean what? And, uh, thankfully, uh, one of the doctors at the, uh, cardiac. Cardiac center in Morristown realized it got him in. He had a complete blockage of his LED, um, and it was touch and go for a week, excuse me. And he had had some cardiac issues prior to this, the two to three months leading up to it and had had a full cath workup.

And they're like, oh no, you're good. They had missed a full blockage, um, because he had auxiliary cardiac arteries built in. He that had done it. So, um, you know, it, it's, I still every once in a while struggle, um, with that. And then, to be honest, I feel like some guilt towards my mom 'cause I don't worry about her as much and she survived breast cancer and it's like, you know, I, there's a lot of people out there who don't have one, if not both their parents.

And I'm so grateful for that. And, but it, it. Uh, that was the big one for me. And then, um, again, I've had really close friends lose one of their parents, and I don't ever want to just like, take that for granted. Um, and that's what I'm more scared of, is not being appreciative of everything that God has given me, um, in so many aspects.

Um, my kids, uh, we've had friends who have lost kids and, uh, you know, I, I want to do them justice by being grateful for what I have. And that's where I think it helps with some of the PTSD stuff. But it also, it weighs, again, it's that weight, right? Like, I have a responsibility to be grateful and not yet my kids when I get angry, but I mean, I need to discipline them.

Um, yeah, it's, it, it's, it's a lot and there's i's some other therapies that people have recommended to me. It's, um. One where it's like an injection and, uh, I luckily it's, I can't remember the name of it. I'll, I'll send it to you. Why don't you 

TJ: start with like the OG cognitive Behavioral Therapy? Just start with the basics.

You overhear like, I wanna do special ops before going through the fire academy. Like, bro, start from the ground up. 

Ralph: Uh, you know, I need to get back to meditating. I was meditating for a while and it really helped and I mm-hmm. I've slipped off. And I was actually just talking to a good buddy about that. He was like, 'cause I, I can realize when I'm starting to again, the stress starts to get to me and my family doesn't deserve it.

Oh, that was the other thing that was told to me by Pete, uh, chief Jensen. He was like, listen, as you go up, you need to accept that your family is going to suffer and suffer might be kind of a heavy term, but your time is going to be drawn away from it. The higher you go and the more you do. And again, he was like, you either acknowledge it.

Or it catches you and it's way more catastrophic. So that's again, where I, I, I say so much of what I've been able to do and learn is on the shoulders of others who have usually gone through a lot harder times than me. And I just want to learn from them to again, do them justice, um, for sharing that with me.

TJ: Okay. And also on the shoulders of somebody like your wife who has to also support that progress. Yes. That should be my next guess. You're like, Brie, I need you here. Yeah, 

Ralph: yeah, that is 

TJ: talk. You and I are going to talk. Um, it's funny what you mentioned about Cism. I have a hate, hate relationship with Cism and, um.

Through some of the things that, because you know, we all, everything started with Cism. We realized how shitty that was, and we went to the peer support model. I have, I have some thoughts that happen to be unpopular about the whole peer support, but I don't want to get crucified until I can actually formulate those thoughts and make them more concrete.

Because right now well, well good. 'cause I have, 

Ralph: I have the guess for you. It's the guy I was talking about earlier. 

TJ: Oh yeah. Yeah. Are we gonna, are we gonna spar about fire service, mental health? 'cause I'm in, 

Ralph: I think, I think it would be a good, yeah. Good discussion. Like I'm curious you two, uh, you two, I don't wanna say hashing it out, but I think it would be good.

Healthy. That'd be good. Because I, I like, yeah. All right. Well, so I.

What's next 

TJ: one that I think will close us out extremely well. And a question that I didn't put on there, just 'cause I want your raw filtered answer. Unfiltered answer, what is the one failure that you cherish the most? Oof,

Ralph: there's so many to choose from.

I would say it's been this, it's kind of a joint thing. It's two failures kind of wrapped up into one that has continued to, again, chase me where

I, I make a lot of mistakes and I would double down a lot before and now I've. Really moved away from that to see it from more of a learning aspect. But it was the car incident. And then there was another one just before that that I really pissed off. Um, one, the administration, but two a, a guy who I was close with and we had, the weird part is we had talked about like weeks before us being officers together going and um, I unintentionally had made a comment that like, if you don't get outta special operations, you don't see what the real fire, so you're, and the way it came across was you're not a good leader if you don't get outta special operations.

And that was not my intent. And um, again, this is where I say things that I, life lessons learned, um, and it really, I didn't realize the impact it had and. My impulsive behavior. So I would say my impulsive behavior is a failure that often gets me in trouble, and it doesn't matter if my intention was good.

It is the impulsive behavior, not taking a step to think just those split seconds. Like there's times where you need to make an impulsive decision and you don't wanna analysis by paralysis. However, when speaking, and this is where, you know, being on the podcast with Steve Orsini, which again, like I, I'm super grateful and I, I know I told you this, where I did not do the proper prep and not that it's gonna be, um, filtered, but it was.

I went into that talking to a good buddy and there was nothing wrong with that, but I went back and listened to it afterwards and that caught me a lot of heat in my department as well. And it was like, oh man, yeah, that kind of sounded a little douchey. And I talked to Steve about it and he was like, do you want me to take it off?

And I said, no, this is gonna be a reminder for me to be a little bit more careful. And again, not filtered, but again, not just being impulsive, doing my due diligence. Um, good for him. I didn't realize how popular his podcast was. Uh, um, and then again, it's just some impulsive decisions I've made that have really come back to hurt me, where if I could, it's a failure that just keeps kind of chasing me.

And even the other day, Bre and I were talking and she's like, well, you just made this decision without talking to me. And I was like, no, I thought we've talked about this for five weeks. And she was like, we didn't actually say yes or no. Um. And I think that's part of the special operations view of things.

For me, it's part of probably watching too many Top Gun and Maverick movies where I wanna make decisions. Right? I want, you know, that's, but I also, like, I do it sometimes really well, like with the special op, but there's other times I just don't. And it's cost me friends. It has cost me, um, people who could be friends.

Like I mouthed off about something, about, uh, a guy in our department's cousin that was nothing to do with him because I was mad at this guy and I attacked his cousin, who's an amazing guy, and I did it twice. And I apologized the first time. Then I did again. He was like, dude, I don't accept your apology.

Why should, and like this again, he is like, you talk about leadership and it was really humbling and. I don't want to do that anymore. And I really want to just continue to work on not being as impulsive because it's just cost me a lot. And, uh, yeah, a really good book, I would say for that is, uh, it's like good to better decisions and it's five questions you can use to make, like, again, when we're dealing with in the heat of the moment, putting fires out is one thing.

Um, this is more a bigger picture and running down, making good decisions with some time sometime. And, um, that is one that is my biggest failure, is learning to better impulse control. And my, my therapist, um, counselor has, uh, shared with me, he goes, it seems like you do this when you feel there's an injustice happening.

And often that seems to be one of the triggers for me where, yeah, if I feel something is not just, I do act impulsively. And, um, again, it doesn't matter if my heart's in the right place or what I believe is in the right place, it's usually the wrong decision in that time. And, uh, that's a big failure that I continually need to focus and work on, which again, with meditation will help.

TJ: I dig it. Where can we learn more about CITAs solutions? 

Ralph: Um, I will send you the information sertas.com. Uh, there's, you know, LinkedIn, um, and I would say I'll, I'll share all of my information if anybody has questions or, you know, if, if. There's something you're going through, and this is where, you know, you and I talk all the time,

there's life's in peaks and valleys and enjoy the peaks. Don't, don't get caught up in not enjoying those moments. And, um, you know, right now, you know, I, I get to be headed towards another peak, I feel like, and I'm lucky. And hopefully it turns into a plateau. The flip side is when those valleys hit, there's always a light and there's always a way out.

And, um, you might not think it, but trust me, I have been through a, a lot of valleys and I'm grateful for them now looking back. And most of them are my own doing, if not all of them are my own doing. Um, if I told you I'm a man of faith, I would say have some faith in, in something. It's gonna help you push through more of these things than not.

Um, and, uh, you know, that's where like, again, this, this company is built off of. A lot of faith and, and other things. So,

TJ: Thanks for coming up to the podcast, dude. I'm glad we were finally able to set up a time, a place and to get it done. 

Ralph: Uh, no, seriously, thank you. I, I, I can't tell you, um, that like, it means the world to me that anyone would wanna hear something I have to say. And when I say I, it is not an I, it's a we.

It's the people who have coached me, um, mentored me, and none of these ideas are my own, probably is the best thing to say. It's, it's me regurgitating to the best of my ability, what others have taught me throughout. My career and life, and I'm forever grateful for all of those people. Um, you know, chief Tom Parks, like, there's, there's just, there's almost too many to mention.

Um, you know, it, it's just, uh, I, uh, I'm forever grateful and you, you as well. Um, so thank you for this opportunity. I hope I do it justice. Um, and I'm just, like I said, what you do is amazing and I, I love seeing good people succeed and what you're doing is succeeding, brother.